Startup founders: How not to write an email
Consider this email,
And now consider this one,
You signed up for the Orchard beta not too long ago, and we’re excited to finally send you an invite!
(Just to jog your memory, Orchard helps you make the most of your relationships, keeping you up to date on where you’re spending your time and who you need to catch up with. It’s somewhere between a personal CRM and a todo list for your connections.) [Emphasis mine]
You should receive an invite from Apple’s Testflight service in the next few minutes. It will contain a code or link you need to install the app. You’ll also need to have the TestFlight app installed on your phone. If you need us to send the invite to a different email address, just reply to this message and let us know.
Once you’ve checked out the app, please send us your feedback — this is a beta and we need your help to improve! Be honest, frank, and opinionated: you won’t hurt our feelings. Bugs, ideas, concerns, etc all fair game. You can reply to me or send to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Brian and the entire Orchard team
Which one do you think your early adopters have a higher likelihood of understanding and responding to?
Don’t forget while you might live and breathe your startup, your early adopters have probably signed up to try several such services, and unless you remind them what your product is about, they might as well delete the email and move on.